Chaos
by marsalien
Summary: When the bar of Konoha opens, the ninja flood in. What happens when different groups of people get drunk?
1. Brothers

Author's Note: This is what results of boredom and not being able to sleep for three hours at night.

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Chaos (at the Bar)

Night One: Brothers

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The Night Before . . .

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Itachi and Sasuke were at the bar. Their drinking contest to prove who was better had resulted in spending thousands of dollars on sake.

The amount of empty sake bottles went from two to twenty-two, and the brothers became . . . _drunk_.

"You know, brother," Sasuke said, highly drunk, "I love you, brother!" He slammed his fist down.

"No brother," Itachi replied, "You _can't _love me because I love _you_!"

"But, brother, I love you best_estly_!"

"I'm bestester than _you_!"

"But I love you!" Sasuke yelled, tossing a bottle on the floor.

"And I love you, brother! So I am bestest_est_!" Itachi screamed, with all the people in the bar staring at them.

"I do it bestes_ter_ brother because I love _you_!"

"No! That's not _fair_ because I love _you _more and bestest_er_ forever and ever with _no_ takebacks!" Itachi shouted, pointing at his brother.

"You cheated, brother! I still love _you bestest _though!"

The bartender came out of the back, curious as to what the ruckus was. He saw the two Uchiha brothers sitting at the bar, going back and forth.

"But _brother_, I love you to the end of the bar and back because I'm a good _bigger _broth-" Itachi almost finished his drunken sentence as the bartender interrupted.

"Are you two alright?"

Itachi and Sasuke looked at each other and simultaneously threw their hands up and screamed, "We're in love!"

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. . . and the Moring After . . .

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Itachi groaned. He felt his throbbing head and looked down. Sasuke was snoring and grasping onto Itachi's leg, so he kicked him off. "D*mn you, brother. It was your idea to come here."

Itachi stood up, falling around dizzily, as Sasuke awoke as well. He attempted to stand, but fell back over as Itachi tripped over a barstool.

"Bartender!" he screamed, as the man came out from the back. "What happened last night?"

"You really wanna know?" the bartender replied.

"Probably not. How much do I owe you?"

The bartender handed him the bill. Itachi's jaw dropped. "Fifty-seven sakes? Three thousaned dollars?"

Sasuke stood up, put up his hand, and fell backwards. "Now I know who drank the most . . ." Itachi thought to himself.

Itachi made his way to exit the bar, stepping over his brother.

The bartender called out, "Should I just put it on his tab?"

Itachi turned quickly. "He has a f*cking tab?" Itachi paused for a moment. "Yeah, and give me another sake," he said as he walked back in and sat at the bar.

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End of Night One

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Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed the first night of "Chaos", and if you wish you can review and leave a request for another group of people to get drunk. It's very fun writing what they would do . . .


	2. A Certain Five

Author's Note: This is what results of boredom and not being able to sleep for three hours at night.

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Chaos (at the Bar)

Night Two: A Certain Five

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The Night Before . . .

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Kimimaro looked down at his bottle of sake. This was his first, and he hadn't drank a single bit of it. He looked over at his foolish group.

"Hey, Joey," Tayuya said, looking at the bartender. "Wanna make ou-" she began, but then puked all over his shirt.

"God d*mn it!" the bartender said as he walked into the back to get a knew shirt.

Tayuya hiccupped and said, "Well, then, Kidomaru, wanna do the the 'Sideways jutsu' in the back?"

Kidomaru shoved two of his hands down his pants and fell over.

"Well," Tayuya said drunkenly, "it's still fun whether you are awake or not."

She attempted to drag him away, but couldn't.

"Kimimurayo," she shouted. "Come help me drag him into the girl's restroom!"

"No, fool," Kimimaro spoke coolly at Tayuya.

"Fine, a**holethy, person, I'll do it myse-" she said as she collapsed onto Kidomaru.

Sakon looked at the scene, "Hey, Jirobo, wanna go molest them?"

Jirobo nodded and fell over onto the bar.

Sakon laughed hysterically. "Kimimimimimaro my friend, aren't they idiots?" he said as he fell onto the floor.

"Yes, Sakon, you included."

The bartender came out with a new shirt. "What happened?"

"Can I just leave?"

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. . . and the Moring After . . .

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Tayuya woke up, along with Kidomaru. He removed his hands, and Tayuya collapsed again.

Sakon and Jirobo both got up and went into the bathroom to puke.

Kidomaru looked around. "Where's Kimimaro?"

The bartender came out of the back. "Kimimaro said that a Kidomaru would be paying today," he said.

Kidomaru twitched. He pointed at Tayuya, "That's her!" as he ran out.

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End of Night Two

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Author's Note: Yes, I am the bartender. Note, I do not tend bars in real life. Sorry for such a short chapter, but it is still pretty funny! Review and leave somebody you want to get drunk!


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